Hug Your Kids Today
I can’t bowl without thinking of my dad.
I’m not sure when the last time my dad rolled a bowling ball. I’m not even sure the last time I did either. And ever since I was a small child all the way to my early thirties, my dad has been in a bowling league.
When I visit my dad out of state there was one thing we did – bowl. We haven’t done that in a very long time.
But there is one thing I remember every time I do roll a bowling ball down the lane. It always comes to mind as I release and follow through with the ball. It’s what my dad would tell me as a kid - point my thumb. A good straight thumb on a follow through meant I released the ball where I wanted to release it. My dad would always remind me, where’s your thumb?
Often times I’d notice that my walk back from the line was just like my dad’s. It was uncanny - that look on his face, the strut, the thought process in his head as if to say, remember the form, adjust the form, don’t change a thing and ‘look at me!’ When he hit that strike his chest would stick out a little more, his shoulders back, his mouth a little agape and his jaw square.
I have yet to take my kids out to the local bowling alley yet. It’s a renovated bowling alley and it’s the one I used to go to with my dad. Bowling alley’s, unfortunately, have always grossed me out - it’s dirty and hazardous with these heavy bowling balls rolling around all over the place. The shoes are absolutely gross, and who knows what grimy fingers have been placed in the bowling balls? It’s not the cleanest place for kids that’s for sure.
Needless to say, it’s is a ton of fun for kids if you don’t let the bacteria get to you. It’s still a family outing in my life that will be cherished. When I have played it’s still that same old fun I used to have as a kid when my dad took my sister and I down to Jewel City to bowl.
Wow, life seemed so simple then.
As a kid I would cry when my dad left me on Sunday night to go to his league. It was probably hard for him. I saw it in his eyes as he gently peeled me away from him as I hugged him goodbye wanting so bad to go with him. I’d watch him grab his bowling bag and walk out the door and drive down the street.
Sunday, I did something similar to Jake.
Jake didn’t deserve to go to the golf course after he acted up and cried and complained about promises he said I made. I was more than willing to take him to a round of 9 holes after we went to see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I wasn’t sure if we could fit it in our schedule nor was I sure if I could walk the course having run 11 miles earlier in the morning. But my plan was to ‘maybe’ take him out to play golf, or hit balls, if time permit.
But after his outburst, he was punished and no matter what – even if time permitted, he still wasn’t going to go play golf. I wasn’t planning on going either.
Is it a lesson learned that I did go play golf anyway and he stayed home? Did I make a point that if your behavior is poor you won’t get rewarded for it?
Well, even though I was set to sit down and watch the Dodger game, my brother-in-law convinced me to get off the couch and we went and played my first round of 18 holes of golf.
Jake asked where I was going and I told him. He started to cry. It hurt my chest. I remembered my dad. I remember when he went bowling. It was a different situation – he played in a league and I wasn’t being punished. On Sunday, I was punishing Jake for his behavior.
Unfortunately, it will probably happen again. Unfortunately, Jake and I will plan to play, and he will forget about how to behave, and he will have to stay home. Hopefully, a point was made and I can eventually remind him: remember when I went to play golf but you couldn’t go because you were naughty?
Will he remember these days like I remember the days my dad left to go bowling?
In a way I hope he doesn’t. Why would I want him to think back on the negative days of his wonder years? But, in a way I hope he does remember. It builds character. I wouldn’t have that gut wrenching feeling in my stomach thinking back on those days. Yeah, I was a kid and yeah, it probably doesn’t affect how I live my life minute to minute. But… it did affect me emotionally yesterday - which means the past has had an effect on me.
I don’t like leaving him while he cries like that as I play a round of golf. And I can’t wait till the day that every round of golf I play will be with him: and hopefully someday soon, my wife and daughter.
So yeah, I can’t bowl without thinking of my dad. Hopefully Jake will say that about me someday – “I can’t play golf or race Triathlons, play paintball, play baseball, play chess, play video games, read, and eat ice cream without thinking of my Papa.”
Hug your kids today. So many were lost during the tragic events at Virginia Tech. I can’t imagine how those parents feel during such a dark time.
